ONTARIO HYDRO vs NEWFOUNDLAND HYDRO
_4 _4 4 _~ __4___ _)_))_) /|\ _~ )_)_~ _~ _~ _ \ \ \ \ _)_)_)_) / | \ )_))_))_) __|=|_|=|__ {'\ /_/_/_/ _)_))_))_)_ _{__!__}_ _!__!__!_ \ o.o.o.oY/ ((____!___/) \_=__=__=_/ \_______/ \______t/ \_______/ \0\0\0\0\/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Once upon a time, Ontario Hydro and Newfoundland Hydro decided to have a competitive boat race on Lake Ontario. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big dy they both felt as ready as they could be. The Newfies won by a mile. Afterwards, Ontario Hydro became very discouraged byt the loss, and morale sagged. Corporate Management decided that the reasond for the crushing defeat had to be found. A "Continuous Measurable Improvement" team was set up to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action. Their conclusion: The problem was that the Newfie team had eight people rowing and one person steering, whereby the Ontario Hydro team had one person rowing and eight people steering. The Ontario Hydro Steering Commitee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure. After some time and millions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that "Too many people were steering and not enough rowing!" To prevent losing to the Newfies again next year, the team's management structure was totally reorganized to four Steering Managers, three Area Steering Managers, one Staff Steering Manager and a new performance system for the person rowing the boat to give him more incentive to work harder. "We must give him empowerment and enrichment. That should accomplish our Total Quality Management goals!" The next year the Newfies won by two miles. Humiliated, Ontario Hydro laid off the rower for poor performance, sold the paddles, canceled all capital investment for new equipment, halted development of a new boat, gave a "High Performance" award to the consulting firm, then distributed the money saved as bonuses to the District Managers and senior executives. _______________________________________________________________________ __/___ Return to Joke Index _____/______| _______/_____\_______\_____ Return to My Homepage \ { { { | ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Copyright (c)2001-2012 Revised 20-Aug-2001 ASCII Art (c) by their owners