)                          )
         (         ((               (         ((              (
         ))       ((  )    )        ))       ((  )    )    (  ))  )
       ) (()(   ) )) )  )  ((     ) (()(   ) )) )  )  ((  ( ) (()(
     ( ))  ))) )(( (( )))) )) ) ( ))  ))) )(( (( )))) )) )  ))  ))) )
     ((  )) ) ))(( ((( )))(( ())((  )) ) ))(( ((( )))(( ())(  )) ) ))
     ________________________________________________________________

                 T H E   C R E A T I O N   O F   H E L L
     ________________________________________________________________

   In the Beginning....

   God created heaven and the earth. Quickly he was faced with a class
   action suit for failure to file an environmental impact statement. He
   was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was stymied with
   the cease and desist order for the earthly part.

   Appearing at the hearing, God was asked why he began his earthly
   project in the first place. He replied that he just liked to be
   creative.

   Then God said, "Let there be light", and immediately the officials
   demanded to know how the light would be made. Would there be strip
   mining? What about thermal pollution? God explained that the light
   would come from a huge ball of fire. God was granted provisional
   permission to make light, assuming that no smoke would result from the
   ball of fire; that he would obtain a building permit; and to conserve
   energy, would have the light out half the time. God agreed and said he
   would call the light "Day" and the darkness "Night". Officials replied
   that they were not interested in semantics.

   God said, "Let the earth bring forth green herb and such as many
   seed". The EPA agreed so long as native seed was used. Then God said,
   "Let waters bring forth creeping creatures having life; and the fowl
   that may fly over the earth". Officials pointed out this would require
   approval from the Department of Game coordinated with the Heavenly
   Wildlife Federation and the Audubongelic Society.

   Everything was O.K. until God said he wanted to complete the project
   in six days. Officials said it would take at least 200 days to review
   the application and impact statement. After that there would be a
   public hearing. Then there would be 10-12 months before....

   It was at this point that God created Hell....

                   1997 BODO'S LAIR ~ All Rights Reserved
     _________________________________________________________________

                 .--~~,__
    :-....,-------`~~'._.'         Return to Joke Index
     `-,,,  ,_      ;'~U'
      _,-' ,'`-__; '--.            Return to My Homepage
     (_/'~~      ''''(;
  _______________________________________________________________________

                 Copyright (c)2001-2012 Revised 20-Aug-2001
                      ASCII Art (c) by their owners